quote: Adrienne Rich

“I have come to believe…that female biology–the diffuse intense sensuality radiating out from the clitoris, breasts, uterus, vagina; the lunar cycles of menstruation; the gestation and friction of life which can take place in the female body–has far more radical implications than we have yet come to appreciate.” — Adrienne Rich

blood

I’m looking at menstruation as a kind of starting place, at least for myself. women’s bleeding is tied to the movement of the moon and to other women. women “syncing” their periods is magic, isn’t it? natural, measurable, factual, real — and magical.

also, the more I read about menstrual magic the more I realize that this is one territory that men are genuinely loath to set foot on. they’ll gleefully force their way into every other place that women claim, but they are really hesitant to barge in on menstrual bleeding and take over.

poor babies. 😉

short-term goals (more to come)

1. establish a sort of core group, a long-distance coven, if you will, of like-minded sisters. I’m thinking of maybe setting up an old-fashioned mailing list, which I’ve done before in a different context (and would like to see get off the ground). I’d like to have some direct, egalitarian contact with (potential) goddessians and pick their brains, share ideas together, and basically begin to put together the pieces of a robust female-centered spirituality and practice. this blog would still be my own base of operations, where I post my own thoughts and interact with readers via the comments, but I’d also like a space that is more intimate, less public, and more conducive to back-and-forth discussion.

if you’re interested, contact me at lesbianseeker@gmail.com. you will NOT be required to use a real name or a personal e-mail.

more thoughts

I have struggled with how to proceed from my first post. I said what I wanted to say then, and I have more stuff swirling around in my head that wants to come out, but it’s hard to put that stuff into words.

female-only space is vital. it’s vital in the physical world but it’s also vital in the spiritual. I want a space that is inclusive of all female people, that gives women the safety to explore their own spiritual desires, their own conceptions of female deity, without apology or shame and without fear of being shut down by males.

I use the word “Goddess” with no article because I feel Goddess can encompass one or many deities. Goddess can take many forms and provide many comforts depending on our needs. every god (and many goddesses) has been created and envisioned according to the needs of men. some goddesses created by men have been “reclaimed” by women to serve our needs.

that’s not enough for me.

women have always made space in the margins of male pantheons and holy books. we find ways to make ourselves feel included, even if only by the other women in the faith. we create women’s auxiliaries, unofficial groups of mothers, sisters, daughters, friends. oftentimes women’s groups become sources of labor for the men, who are doing the “real” spiritual work of the faith — women will cook for the congregation, baby-sit, conduct children’s services, teach each other the faith so men don’t have to (or to fill in the gaps in the mens’ teaching). we write our own commentary, our own apologia, our own midrashim, because if we don’t do it, our faces and bodies will not be represented. we become the only ones authentically ministering to ourselves in larger religions that are not really about us.

I want a space that is about us, that is only about us. I want to magnify the margins we inhabit, flip them inside-out so that our space is the whole world, and the spaces that exclude us become the margins.

with this blog I want to take the boundaries of every patriarchal religion that has ever been inadequate to my needs as a woman, and turn them into starting lines. I will exit at their boundaries and enter a new space that will meet — and hopefully exceed — those needs.

our bodies. our desires. our relationships. our work. our leadership. our creativity. our loneliness. our fellowship. our pain. our love. these are the things that make up the body of my Goddess. I want to memorize its contours, find out where I fit, and finally see her face.